The pandemic forever changed the workplace as we know it. With so many people now working remotely, there are bound to be some challenges that come along with this new way of doing things. One of these challenges is dealing with confrontation.
When you’re used to working in an office, it’s easy to address conflict right then and there—or avoid it by walking away from a situation or person that is causing you stress.
But when you’re working remotely, you don’t have that luxury. You’re stuck in the same space as the person or situation that is causing you problems, which can make things even more difficult.
Here are a few tips for dealing with confrontation in the remote workspace:
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1. Don’t Let Things Simmer
If there’s something that’s bothering you, don’t let it simmer. It’s important to address the issue right away so that it doesn’t have a chance to fester and become an even bigger problem.
“We have a natural tendency to avoid conflict, but when you’re working remotely, that can be detrimental to your team’s productivity,” says Ian Heyman, Founder of Dermasteel. “If you’re feeling frustrated with a situation or a person, it’s important to have a direct conversation so that you can resolve the issue and move on.”
Think about how you would approach the situation if you were in an office. Would you go to your boss? A human resources representative? Talk to the person directly? The same rules apply when you’re working remotely.
It’s important to remember that the longer you wait to address a problem, the more time you’re giving it to fester and grow. As such, make it a point to address any issues as soon as they come up.
2. Be Clear and Concise
When you’re dealing with confrontation, it’s important to be clear and concise about what the problem is. This way, there can be no misunderstanding about what you’re trying to say.
“One of the challenges of dealing with confrontation remotely is that it’s easy for things to get lost in translation,” says Temoer Terry, Partner at The Mommy Care Kit. “When you’re having a difficult conversation, make sure that you’re clear about what the problem is and what you’d like to happen.”
Oftentimes, we try to skirt around the issue when we’re feeling confrontational. But being vague will only make the situation worse. Be direct. You’ll find that this approach will help to resolve the issue much quicker.
A lack of communication is often the driving force behind conflict. Try to avoid this by being as clear as possible when you’re communicating with others, whether it’s in writing or over the phone.
3. Use “I” Statements
The typical office environment allows for a lot of personal interaction. But when you’re working remotely, all of that changes. You’re not able to read body language as easily, which can make it difficult to gauge how someone is feeling.
“When you’re confronted with a difficult situation, it’s important to use ‘I’ statements,” says Gigi Ji, Head of Brand and Business Development at KOKOLU. “This will help the other person to understand how you’re feeling and will make it easier for them to empathize with you.”
For example, instead of saying, “You’re always interrupting me when I’m trying to work,” try “I work much better when I’m free to work without interruptions.”
This minor tweak can make a big difference in how the other person perceives the situation and can help to diffuse the confrontation.
Susan K. Shaffer, President of Pneuma Nitric Oxide adds, “Body language is one of the oldest forms of communication, and it’s still one of the most important. If you find yourself in a situation where you’re unable to use body language to your advantage, make sure that you’re using ‘I’ statements.”
4. Avoid Assumptions
In any type of conflict, it’s important to avoid making assumptions about the other person’s intentions. This is especially true in the remote workspace, where there is a lack of personal interaction.
“One of the most challenging things about working remotely is that you can’t always read cues from the other person,” says Rachel Roff, Founder and CEO of Urban Skin Rx. “You might think that someone is interrupting you on purpose, but in reality, they might not even realize that they’re doing it.”
Instead of making assumptions, ask the other person directly what their intentions are. This will help to prevent misunderstandings and will allow you to get to the root of the problem.
Jordyn McKay, Social Media Manager at Chirpyest also says, “I like to think of conflict as an opportunity to learn more about the other person. If you can approach it with an open mind, you might be surprised at what you learn.”
5. Keep Your Emotions in Check
When you’re feeling confrontational, it’s important to keep your emotions in check. This can be a challenge, especially when you’re dealing with someone who you feel is deliberately trying to provoke you.
“The nature of remote work makes it easy to let your emotions get the best of you,” says Chris Coote, CEO of California Honey Vapes. “But it’s important to remember that the goal is to resolve the issue, not to make it worse.”
If you find yourself getting angry, take a step back and take a few deep breaths. This will help you to calm down and to approach the situation with a clear head.
According to Lilian Chen, Co-Founder and COO of Bar None Games, “It’s human nature to want to fight back when we’re feeling attacked. But if you can control your emotions, you’ll be in a much better position to resolve the conflict.”
6. Seek Outside Help
If you’re struggling to resolve a confrontational issue on your own, don’t be afraid to seek outside help. This could mean talking to a trusted friend or family member, seeking professional counseling, or attending a mediation session.
There are numerous outlets available if we just look for them. But you have to be willing to take that first step. Once you do, you’ll see that there’s no need to go through this alone.
“Most of us are capable of resolving minor confrontational issues,” says Patricio Paucar, Co-Founder and Chief Customer Officer at Navi. “But everyone has their limits. If you feel overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Never allow pride to keep you from getting the assistance you need.”
No matter how difficult it may be, dealing with confrontation is a necessary part of life. But you can be expected to handle it all on your own, especially when you’re on the clock. If there’s a problem that’s beyond your scope, bring it to your supervisor’s attention. They can help you to resolve the issue and can provide support when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
7. Be Willing to Compromise
In any type of conflict, it’s important to be willing to compromise. This is especially true in the remote workspace, where you might not always be able to get your way.
“It’s easy to get tunnel vision when you’re working remotely,” says Adam Nadelson, CEO of The I.V. Doc. “You might be so focused on your own goals that you’re not willing to budge on anything. But in order to resolve a conflict, you need to be willing to meet the other person halfway.
“I tell my staff that the goal is to find a solution that works for both parties. There’s always give and take in any negotiation, and the key is to be willing to compromise.”
If you’re not willing to budge on your position, you’re likely to find yourself in an endless cycle of conflict. But if you’re open to finding a middle ground, you’ll be more likely to resolve the issue.
8. Don’t Take It Personally
When you’re dealing with a difficult person, it’s easy to take their words and actions personally. But it’s important to remember that it’s not about you. It’s about them and their own issues.
You can find yourself in the middle of a conflict that has nothing to do with you. But rather than getting caught up in it, try to remain objective. This can be difficult, but it’s important to remember that you’re not the one with the problem.
This mindset will help you to remain calm and level-headed, even in the midst of a heated argument. And it will also help you to see the situation for what it is, rather than getting wrapped up in the emotion of the moment.
9. Put It in Writing
If you’re having difficulty resolving a conflict verbally, put it in writing. This can be an email, a letter, or even a text message.
The written word can be a powerful tool, especially when you’re trying to communicate with someone who’s difficult to deal with. It can help to clear the air and to get your point across without getting lost in the emotion of the moment.
Just remember that written communication lacks the subtlety of face-to-face interaction. So be careful not to say anything that might be easy to misconstrue.
If this method isn’t effective in clearing up the conflict, go back through the above list and try another method. Keep trying until you find one that works and successfully resolves the issue.
Conclusion
Working remotely can be a great way to get ahead in your career. But it’s not without its challenges. One of those challenges is dealing with confrontation. By following these tips, you can learn how to handle conflict in a productive and positive way.